My Mom

She raised two boys. She was far from perfect. She was both a shinning example and a royal pain in the arse. What can I say, she was my mom. The one who brought me into this world. So much of who I am is because of what she poured into me. From her I learned to laugh, to love the beauty of God's creation and how to hang on to God's word and promises. There are things in my family's history and ancestry that I love that came down to me from her. My grand-father the artist who painted signs at carnivals and played music in a time when being a musician was magical. I like to think that I have his creative essence deep inside me. This I got through her. At the same time there are things that I don't like about myself that I know I got from her. Like her abysmal ability to manage money. And other dark things that sometimes haunt my personality. But its all part of the package. She wasn't easy but she was my mother. And though I didn't realize it often or tell her nearly enough, I loved her dearly.

This past Sunday was the first Mother's day that I've ever spent on this earth without her. That thought seems to echo inside me in a hollow and empty space whenever I allow my brain to speak it. It's like a bottomless pit. The kind that when you drop a stone into it you never hear it hit. Just blackness and nothing. My wife asked me on Mother's day as we were at church if I was alright. I didn't know what to say really. On one hand I was with her, the beautiful mother of my own children and celebrating all that is good about mothers. But on the other hand, I had an ache that I couldn't put to words.

I've thought about writing something about mom now for several weeks but when it came to sitting down and actually typing the words, I always shyed away from the act because I just didn't want to go there emotionally. I'd really love to be able to put together a witty essay extolling the virtues of my mother but its just not in me.....yet. Perhaps next year when I've had time to process. After we've placed a proper headstone on her grave. Right now, there are just so many thoughts and feelings and stories even that have yet to settle in my soul. All I can for now is, I am who I am because of her. She will forever be a part of me and my progeny.

I love you mom. I miss you. I'm sorry your life ended the way that it did. I hope you're proud of me.

See you after a while.

Your Sugar Bear
Arron

California as an Analogy for America...Pt 2

I had to make the drive back down I-10 from Palm Springs back to Ontario today and those same feelings of lothing started to come back.  Its no wonder that they have so many highway shootings.  If traffic was this bad in Texas where everybody has a gun......Armagedon, LOL

So I arrived at my hotel after being led astray by my Sprint Navigation app on my Palm Pre.  If I didn't know better I'd say it played an April Fool's Day prank on me.  Add all of this together and I was ripe to tell the world about how little I like this part of So Cal.   That's where my good friend Sage comes in.  She actually reads my blog (can you believe that?) and she forwarded some additional information to me about the plight that California is in with illegal immigration.  So, instead of me having to be creative I thought I'd just post what she sent and give the credit to her.  Please visit her blog at http://gps-sage.blogspot.com/  After reading this you have to be at least a little concerned.  Enjoy....

Just One State


This is only one State...............If this doesn't open your eyes nothing will !

From the L. A. Times

1. 40% of all workers in L. A. County ( L. A. County has 10.2 million people)are working for cash and not paying taxes. This is because they are predominantly illegal immigrants working without a green card.

2. 95% of warrants for murder in Los Angeles are for illegal aliens.

3. 75% of people on the most wanted list in Los Angeles are illegal aliens.

4. Over 2/3 of all births in Los Angeles County are to illegal alien Mexicans on Medi-Cal , whose births were paid for by taxpayers.

5. Nearly 35% of all inmates in California detention centers are Mexican nationals here illegally

6. Over 300,000 illegal aliens in Los Angeles County are living in garages.

7. The FBI reports half of all gang members in Los Angeles are most likely illegal aliens from south of the border.

8. Nearly 60% of all occupants of HUD properties are illegal.

9. 21 radio stations in L. A. are Spanish speaking.

10. In L. A. County 5.1 million people speak English, 3.9 million speak Spanish.
(There are 10.2 million people in L. A. County. )

(All 10 of the above are from the Los Angeles Times)

Less than 2% of illegal aliens are picking our crops, but 29% are on welfare.
Over 70% of the United States' annual population growth (and over 90% of California, Florida , and New York) results from immigration. 29% of inmates in federal prisons are illegal aliens.

So Now I'm Lower Middle-Class 'eh?

Money...I've always told myself it wasn't really that important in my life.  And for the most part, I think that's true.  I don't really consider myself greedy and I haven't spent a great deal of effort trying to get more.  I mean, I sell stuff on ebay occasionally, but I think that's as much to get rid of junk as it is to make money.  As a matter of fact, I'd be willing to bet that most of the money I've made by selling stuff was spent on some new stuff before it had a chance to sit in my bank and earn any interest.  We're talking in the low hundreds of dollars here. 

Early in my adult life I made a decision to move into a job that could support my family.  I had recently come from a Christian university where I studied to be a music minister.  There's two things that are desitined to keep you in poverty when you put them together.  Music and ministry.  Talk about being young and idealistic. So, since my wife had majored in Art and I had majored in Music I thought it was probably a good idea to get a "real job". Plus, I had an experience that turned me off to chruch politics forever.  I decided that music was something that I dearly loved and because of that, I didn't want to do it for a living. That was a money decision as large as any I had ever made in my life at that point.  Other than that, I really haven't been that concerned with filthy lucre.  Sure, I love to have it and love to spend it even more.  But its just not who I am.  I'm just as happy giving it away a lot of times.  

Anyway, I said all of that to say this....I happened upon this article on Yahoo Finance that says that now I'm lower middle-class.  According to how much I make, blah blah blah, yada yada yada....
I grew up lower middle class to just plain poor.  I mean mom had two of us boys to raise and she was terrible with money.  So I guess I should be happy that I've moved up in the world right?   I don't know.  Its just that if you'd have told me when I was a kid that I would be making what I'm making now I don't know if I'd have believed it. Well, then again I probably would have.  I have always been optimistic.  :)
I think that I would have assumed though that making as much as I do would mean I was well off, or at least above the middle income.   Oh well!   At least I can truly say that we are blessed.  My wife is able to stay at home with our two girls and we really don't lack for anything.  Really, if you compared my salary with the other 6 billion people in the world, I'd come out in the top 1%.   That's not bad.

Its good for me to remember that.   Ahhh, that's better. 

One thing that has been really good for me and my family has been going through the Dave Ramsey program called "Finacial Peace University".  If money is something that bothers you in the slightest, I highly recommend it.

Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University Audio CD Library: 13 Life Changing Lessons

California as an Analogy for America

This week I have the good fortune of traveling to Palm Springs, California for my job.  I know, I know.  It is a tough job and I do get paid to do it.  Palm Springs is a wonderful place filled with beautiful golf courses, cars, people and scenery.  When I first started coming here in January I was amazed by the juxtaposition of emerald green golf courses and snow capped mountains in the background.  Absolutely beautiful!

This time instead of flying into the Palm Springs airport and perhaps enjoying a celebrity sighting or two, the bean counters at the "Big Orange" suggested I fly into Ontario, CA and drive for about 90 minutes to Palm Springs.  That was fine with me because I enjoy a nice drive in good weather.  And let's face it, southern California in spring is almost always great weather. 

So, I jumped into my Nissan Sentra and started down I-10 east, along with about 10 million other drivers it seemed, bound for the Coachella Valley.  It was then that something occurred to me about California.  I can't really understand why so many people want to be here.  I mean the weather is nice and all, but there are so many other things that don't appeal.  I only have to be here for a few hours before I start to be ready to leave.  There's smog, over population, terrible traffic, smog, a post Judeo-Christian culture, inflated prices on everything from food to real-estate, smog, and the state is practically bankrupt. Thinking through all of these issues I wondered if this wasn't a blaring analogy for where America is headed in its current direction.  I mean they have had bleeding heart liberals running the state for decades and I think the policies had taken their toll.  I'm no expert or political pundit. But this is the world's fifth largest economy and many of the same things that congress and the current administration (and previous administrations on both sides of the isle to be fair) are doing are the what got California into the state that its in now.  Lax immigration policies. Entitlement programs that they can no longer afford. Moving away from the Judeo-Christian moral compass that values life and family.     Is this a looking glass for us to see where America will be in 10 years?    I wonder....

To blog, or not to blog. That is the question

So I've been thinking about another blog post for a while now.  I've discovered a few things about blogs in the short time that I've been doing one. 
First, a blog is not necessarily the same thing as a journal. I mean, it could be and I think some people blog about things that are very personal and feel like they can be completely honest in their blog and say whatever they feel. For me, as I pondered what I was encountering in my life and travels and the feelings and reactions that would happen in me, I quickly realized that I can't exactly say everything in this forum.  I'm not saying that I'm going to lie here.  On the contrary I plan to be almost brutally honest at times and bring out the truth whenever I can recognize it.  But, since my wife, in-laws, ministers, friends and family are among my readers and there are no doubt things that some in those groups don't want others in those groups to know, I think its smarter to keep certain observations to myself.  The blog can definitely be cathartic, but propriety necessitates that I adhere to a code. Keep that which is meant to be private within me. Or at the very least keep from blurting it out in a public forum like this. I used to write in a journal in college and for a time after that and I'm thinking that for my own growth and sanity in some cases I will take up journal writing again very soon.  There will no doubt be topics and entries that end up in both medium.

A second observation about blogs is more an observation about myself and how I'd like my readers to perceive me and my blog.  It is simply this....I want this blog to be of a certain quality and for the people who take the time to read it to enjoy it.  It's been over two weeks since I last posted.  When I first started I was thinking that I'd be a two or three time a week poster depending on how many interesting things happened to me or how many witty anecdotes I could come up with.  I've found myself in the shower often thinking of possible blog topics, and mentally throwing crumpled up papers at the waste basket in my imagination.  (I do some of my best thinking in the shower.  Some people sing, I just think about stuff.  I do sing also, but usually it turns into a cartoon like rendition of a Rodgers and Hammerstein classic.  Oklahoma is one of my favorites...just ask my wife)  You know, I had originally hoped that the process of coming up with these posts would be much more organic.  That the topics would just overflow out of a wealth of juicy human experiences.  Yeah, well that brings me to my next observation about blogging....
With all the different ways available to us for sharing our lives through social media, it's a little harder than I expected to wait until you have enough stuff to make a decent blog post.  I mean there's Facebook, which makes it easy to post a status update and let people know what you're thinking or what is going on.  And because those posts are usually shorter and more direct, they are easier to come up with and faster.  There is also Twitter and Linked In.  I'm not really that into tweeting. I've got an account and I occasionally tweet but I have to admit I just don't "get it" when it comes to tweeting.  I guess you can say I haven't found that sweet spot or had that "ah ha!" moment with it.  The interactions with twitter don't seem to be all that informative or fun to me.  I'm sure there are plenty that disagree with me on that.  Just not my thing yet and at this rate unless someone drops some revelation of the twitterverse on me, I don't think it ever will be.  Linked In I use for work/career related networking almost exclusively so there isn't a lot of honesty to be found on there.  (Said with tongue firmly in cheek)  I know there are plenty of other social networking sites also.  I almost forgot to mention YouTube.   I got a really cool Flip video camera that fits in my pocket for Christmas (thanks to my totally awesome in-laws, I love you guys).  So I've even found ways to use it to chronicle some of my adventures.  Again, this sucks creativity away from the blog process.   I know, I know...I could post those videos to my blog.   Give me time; I'm working on learning to do that.  That's actually a goal of mine for a coming post.  But you get the picture.
Put all this together and it really has made me appreciate the discipline and emerging art form of blogging.  I'm still new to it and learning fast but I obviously have a long way to go.   At least I made myself sit down tonight in my hotel room and get this post down.   That deserves a pat on the back and perhaps a "Little Debbie - Nutty Bar".   Mmmm, hmmmm!   I'll eat one and dedicate it to my good friend Rev. R. Kelly Johnson in Kenya.

Cheers

Let's see if I can post to my blog while i'm standing around waiting for my clients to make use of me. :)

So what IS with all the bruehaha?

This is it! My first blog. I just love saying that word....Buh Lah Guh. Something kinda fun about it. I imagine that if you tried to say it after having your face numbed for a dental procedure that it could be quite funny. But I digress...

Anyway, I've been toying with the idea of doing one of these for a while. I get the urge to put my thoughts down sometimes. Sometimes deep thoughts, other times just waxing a little poetic, or pathetic as the case may be. So, for any of you bored enough to want to read along on this "bruehaha" of an excursion that I call my life and times welcome. Jump on in.

But I gotta warn ya, my life ain't simple and I don't plan to put up a rose colored facad as so many of my Christian brothers and sisters are want to do.

So, in the words of one of my favorite characters, Jon Luc Picard....."Engage" (Yes I know i'm a geek)